It has been 8 years since I started practicing yoga and although it makes my life easier in so many ways, it seems like life has become more challenging in many many other ways. When we see yogis/yoginis always standing tall, smiling, ready to help… we might think that they have all that they want and life is perfect. What we are not aware of are the battles that are happening on the inside.
Yoga awakens us, the veil of Maya (illusion) slowly lifts and we are able to see more clearly how our actions have an effect upon all that exists, as we start to recognize ourselves as part of the whole. We become aware of the ripple effect of our choices, affecting first our mental state, then others around us, the physical world at large, and of course ultimately ourselves.This new awareness brings a certain clarity but also brings with it doubts and questions. If everything I do has such consequence do I need to analyze every little thing? We also start to become aware of distorted behaviors deeply grooved in our minds, and hence must begin the task of overcoming them. We are aided by an increasing mental strength and flexibility which develop in tangent with bodily strength and flexibility which are the more obvious results of the practice of Asanas (yoga postures). Yet at the same time the world seems to sense this and give us more to deal with.
So here I am, a yogini, who aims to live a yogic life and who gets the great benefits from the yoga practice (not only asanas as they are only a small bit of yoga), but who is also travelling deep – finding the dark corners, the bad habits, the wrong behaviors, the fear, the vices, the clinging, the samskaras, with the intention to liberate from them, to create more space for love and light.
With the certainty of being a “Being of Light”, a fraction of a consciousness expressing and experimenting itself, I sometimes amaze myself with old and hidden patterns that come to surface as life goes by, things that where supposedly forgotten reappear, fears and anger resurface; and because now I am more aware I know I need to deal with them, I know that they need to be resolved so the path can continue on. Yes, yoga is amazing! It is one of the things I most love in life! It makes me feel good, strong, connected, alive, happy, shining… But it also can be a difficult path. Yoga transformed my life!
The Diary of a Yogini has been now created so I can share with you the joys and “hardships” of yoga. I am doing this because sometimes I feel quite alone in the journey, I wonder if what is going on inside of me is what happens to all those smiley and happy yogis/yoginis? So I decided to share some of my experiences and hope that they make sense to others and that they can connect with my stories, connect with me, and perhaps feel that they are not alone in their journey.
I would love to hear your comments… There are so many ways to connect with me and Ali… Through this website, Facebook, Email. But I also respect your silence.
Love and Light,
Pollyana C X Leaver