Diary of a Yogini, Day 2 – Me stressed?! Never…


yoga2The idea of being stressed had surfaced in my mind from time to time, but I did not think that I could actually be “stressed”. How could I be stressed? I practice yoga daily, I eat well, I meditate…Surely I should be the epitome of chill? Ok, so I am also taking care of my family, my home, myself (sometimes 😉 ), my friends, my students, my clients, the planet, the garbage, the cat… the to do list goes on and on. Let’s just say I am good at multi-tasking!  But then I stopped and thought about it, and I realized, no I am not. I have been putting a lot o pressure on myself, in the way that I believe that I should be, I haven’t trusted enough to let go of the controlling mind, the burdens on my shoulders seem to increase daily. No wonder I feel pain in my back! I have been trying to carry the World on my shoulders!
I have come to the conclusion that I did not realize that I was stressed because I have been stressed since childhood. I had gastritis around the age of 10 and had plenty of stressful situations. The reasons don’t need to be expressed here – i feel no need to pour my heart out over the web, everyone has a history so I’m sure I don’t need to bore you with mine – they are in the past and are mostly dealt with (usually in a recurrent monthly pattern!), but you get my point, no 10 year old should be having gastritis! And as the years went by I can see that some level of negative stress was present. Our society is a perfect breeding ground for stressed people. The “aha” moment came when talking to my chiropractor Dr. Ben Mathew, and he said to me something like this, “you are very healthy, but your sympathetic nervous system is way more active than your parasympathetic nervous system”, what he meant is that I have been in constant fight or flight mode for too long and I need to allow relaxation response to happen so my body can heal itself. It is great to hear what you kinda of know from another person, it sounds a lot more true.

I have been suffering from a nagging back pain for 6-7 years now, tried everything, hoped that someone could cure me, and now I realized that I am the one, (of course all the practitioners that I have chosen during my healing process have played their parts in it too). I came to the realization that even my yoga practice was also coming from a stressed place, short and fast breathing, fast movements, pushing and pushing in the asana practice, even when I was tired. I love an intense practice, but now I know now that this is not for everyday, at least for me. I am learning to listen to my body and it’s needs and respecting it now (most of the time!).

So how was I feeling? Grumpy. My buttons where easily pushed. I felt like there wasn’t enough time in a day to do all I wanted too, tasks piled up in my mind, I was tired, specially in the afternoon. Poor digestion sometimes, back pain the rest of the time, which increased when nervous; and the feeling that I was ready for a breaking down was very close. Does it sound like you at all? So you better check it out! All those feeling are still lingering, but I am a lot more conscious about them, and that helps considerably.

Ok, now I know that I am stressed. Great! Now I can resolve it. I am good at helping others, so I must be good at helping yoga4
myself. I have now created a plan focusing on my needs for this moment, involving meditation, affirmations, breathing exercises, physical exercise, asanas, diet, supplements, herbs, essential oils, juices and smoothies to support my mind and very importantly my good friends adrenal glands. My intention is that by the end of 30 days I will be feeling a great deal better.

Now you have an overview about this situation and on the next post I will share with you how my plan works, how I am dealing with stress and I hope that it can bring some light to those who might be passing through the same situation.

Please, feel free to contact me, give me ideas or ask what you want.

I am here to share and progress with you.

Love and light!

Namaste,

Pollyana Caldas Xavier Leaver

PS: To know more about Dr Ben Mathew follow the link http://www.cardiffbaychiropractic.co.uk

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